While reading that definition you may have thought to yourself: well that’s not really fair or reasonable to disregard other people. But that’s not what I want you to emphasize.
You see, I was raised by an old Eastern European man who frequently reiterated the need for me to take care of myself. I was raised to be selfish. I was raised to be responsible. I was taught that nobody was going to care about my needs, goals, values, desires as much as I do – nor was it anybody else’s job to be concerned with what I want.
“Keep your brain in your head. You come into this world by yourself, and you leave this world by yourself. The only person who will always have your best interest at heart is you.”
and Especially since the only person in the whole world who can look out for all of your own wants and needs is you.
You know what you want. You know what you need.
You ask for what you want. You ask for what you need.
You do what you want. You do what you need.
Nobody is going to read your mind and make your dreams come to life. Nobody is going to hold your hand and tell you to go to the gym and build the body you want. Nobody is going to tuck you into bed at night to make sure you get enough sleep for the day ahead. Nobody is going to give you what you want. You have to do these things yourself. You have to ask for it, you have to want it, you have to work for it. The only permission or approval you need to do these things is your own.
I’m going to tell you something personal. I often get made fun because I don’t drink alcohol. Most people who know me well know that I don’t drink alcohol: 1) because it’s not conducive towards my overall health goals, 2) because I generally don’t feel great when I drink it. Now being a mere 24 years old, a lot of people think that I am weird and make fun of me for abstaining from alcohol. I also get made fun of frequently for being in bed by 10pm. However it doesn’t bother me. It doesn’t bother me because I accept that fact that I don’t do it for them.
I do it for myself.
I give myself permission to say “Yes,” to the things I really want and say “No,” to the things I don’t want. I am selfish with my time and I am selfish with my efforts because those are things I can never get back. I don’t have time to waste doing things that are against my values, that don’t invigorate me, that don’t improve me, or that don’t bring me joy.
And to be honest, you don’t have the type of time either. So before you say “Yes!” to something that devalues what’s important to you or makes your miserable – please think of yourself and be selfish, my friend.